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Humor Made in the USA, Issue #002 -- Guaranteed to Make You Smile
March 01, 2015

Hello from Mike:

Do you know someone who smokes?

This issue features two new short stories that are both based on true stories.

Keep smiling

Mike

Help, my Pants are on Fire

By Michael R Dougherty

A friend of mine was smoking a big fat cigar as he drove along on a busy Los Angeles freeway.

He had been feeling guilty about smoking so he decided to challenge God -

"OK God, if you don't want me to smoke any more, just give me a sign and I'll give it up."

Moments later, the huge burning coal that had built up on the end of his cigar, broke off, and the burning coal landed right in his lap.

With his lap burning, my friend quickly tried to stand up as he drove his car down the nearest off ramp.

At the end of the off ramp he brought his car to a stop. Then he quickly jumped out of his car, brushed the hot coals from his lap, looked up toward heaven and said "OK God, you win."

How not to Smoke a Pipe

John was a college student and he grew a beard so he would look more academic -

But John decided that he needed to add something to his academic look, so he took up smoking a pipe.

One day when he was walking down a steep hill on campus with his pipe firmly clinched in his teeth, he bit down much too hard and the pipe stem split in half, then quickly snapped back together on the tip of his tongue.

John yelled and began running down the hill with his tongue sticking out of his mouth as he pulled on the pipe to try and get it off the end of his tongue.

As he ran by a group of college girls, he could hear them laugh as he waved hello with his pipe still clamped to his tongue.

Moments later, John managed to pull the pipe off his tongue and then threw it in a near-by trash can. His pipe smoking days were over.

How not to Smoke a Pipe

By Michael R Dougherty

John was a college student and he grew a beard so he would look more academic -

But John decided that he needed to add something to his academic look, so he took up smoking a pipe.

One day when he was walking down a steep hill on campus with his pipe firmly clinched in his teeth, he bit down much too hard and the pipe stem split in half, then quickly snapped back together on the tip of his tongue.

John yelled and began running down the hill with his tongue sticking out of his mouth as he pulled on the pipe to try and get it off the end of his tongue.

As he ran by a group of college girls, he could hear them laugh as he waved hello with his pipe still clamped to his tongue.

Moments later, John managed to pull the pipe off his tongue and then threw it in a near-by trash can. His pipe smoking days were over.

Keep Looking for the Humor in Life

You can keep a smile on your face if you just choose to see the humor in life that's all around us.

Until next time - keep smiling

Mike

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