How Not To Smoke A Pipe

How Not To Smoke A Pipe is the hilarious story about how things can go really wrong when you are smoking a pipe to impress.

By Michael R Dougherty

What follows is a true story

He was running down the hill, yelling out in pain as all the college girls watched and giggled.

Have you ever done something just to be "cool"?

And later on, maybe even years later, you realized how dumb it was?

Most of us - and I'm included - must confess that some of the things that we have done to be cool, really were not cool at all. In fact, some of our attempts at being cool were down right dumb or dangerous.
A friend of mine once told me a story that I've never forgotten. It made me laugh when he told it. Over the years, I've told the story many times and my listeners always laugh.

John was a college student and he wanted to be seen as a dedicated student who took his classes and learning very seriously. So to help him achieve his goal, he grew a beard and took up smoking a pipe. In his mind, those two things would make him look much more - studious.

When he took up smoking a pipe, he had the habit of biting down hard on the stem of his pipe as he proudly walked around the campus - feeling confident that everyone who saw him, his beard and pipe, were totally convinced that he was indeed a very serious and dedicated student.

And that all the students who observed him would surely think that even the college professors would confer with him about such important matters as world affairs, his philosophy on life, and of course, where to get the best cheese burger on campus.

One afternoon when John was stroking his beard as he smoked his pipe, he began walking down a well-traveled grass-covered hill frequented by large groups of students. John took special notice of a group of girls standing next to the path or sitting on benches near the bottom of the hill.

Suddenly, his habit of biting down hard on the stem of his pipe created a painful chain reaction.

His pipe stem split in half, and then quickly snapped back together over the tip of his tongue. Johns eyes became as huge as saucers and he began trotting down the hill with his tongue sticking out of his mouth and his hand trying to pull his pipe off the tip of his now bleeding tongue.

John hollered as he trotted past the group of girls who were now watching his every move and giggling at the very silly sight before them.

Moments later, John was able to pull his pipe off the tip of his tongue and survey the sore area for damage.

After he was sure that his tongue would survive and that a trip to the emergency room was not necessary, he walked over to a near-by trash can, smiled meekly at the girls and threw away his pipe.

John's smoking days were over.

How Not To Smoke A Pipe

Did this story remind you of some of your attempts at being cool?

Have fun and keep laughing

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Alaska Humor Speaker - Michael R Dougherty

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