Peat Moss Birthday Cake

Peat Moss Birthday Cake tells the funny story about what happens when a guy buys a birthday cake.

By Michael R Dougherty

How could a cake taste like dirt?

Some years ago I went to a local bakery to pick up a ready-made cake for my wife's birthday. I found a really nice looking cake that happened to be on sale.

I bought the cake and had them write a nice "Happy Birthday" greeting on the top of the cake and I was all set.

After picking up some spiffy-looking candles, I left the bakery with a big smile on my face, because I just knew that my wife was going to love her cake.

So Far So Good

That evening at home, after dinner, with it's candles glowing, I proudly brought out my wife's yummy looking birthday cake and placed it on the table. After Mary made a wish and blew out her candles, I did the honors and started serving up the delicious looking cake. The first slice went to my wife, then one to our daughter and one to our son. So far, so good.

Then, as I started cutting my usual large piece of colorful cake for myself, my family began to enjoy their special dessert.

The Aweful Discovery

But as my family took their first bite, they quickly began making horrible faces and strange noises like "ewe", "ick" and "yuck" as they spit out disgusting mouthfuls of birthday cake.

I was more than surprised and asked the fam, "what up?"

"This birthday cake tastes like peat moss smells" grimaced my daughter. "It tastes like dirt" added my son. My wife Mary continued spewing cake, and then asked me "where did you get this horrible tasting cake?"

Peat Moss Birthday Cake

Turns out that the cake I had so proudly purchased on sale, had grown mold beneath it's colorful icing while waiting a bit too long to be purchased by some sucker.

Then my entire family insisted that I take a bite of the peat moss birthday cake - a request I steadfastly refused to accommodate. Hey, they had already proven that the cake tasted bad. Besides, I think I'm allergic to the taste of peat moss.

While my wife eventually forgave me for the incident, I was never again allowed to pick up a birthday cake for my family. And for the next several years, my children would not eat birthday cake without asking their mom if I had anything to do with the cake - other than placing the candles.

For the record, I like chocolate cake - hold the peat moss.

Have fun and keep laughing

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